Archive for the ‘Thoughts…’ Category

Another day at work. Nothing much to do. I have been asked by my TL to rework on a proposal. It’s not for sending to the client. The guys wish to check out the improvement that we can put in the proposal after some kind of exercise we were going through in the past week or two. But, it’s not my cup of tea. And I am not sure what to do about it. Let me tell you that I am not a presales guy. I am a technical guy, an Engineering graduate. But my current employer being a PCMM level 5 organization, doesn’t find a need of having dedicated guys for presales. As I am free, they can ask me for anything. I had joined this organization around 9 months ago for a technical position. The HR had told me that it was an immediate onsite opportunity. In the Managerial Level Interview I was told that they have lots of projects (They indeed had few projects when I joined but none in the technology I expertise ( 🙂 that’s how we say it) in) and I can travel to Saudi, South Africa, Angola and I don’t remember which other countries. Yes, US is not in the list because I can be eligible for an H1B application only after being here for an year. So, after 9 months I am still here waiting for a project. There were two other people over here from the same technology. Both had joined around 3 months earlier to me. Karthik is now in Angola for some support project which they have managed somehow. He is there along with Raghav who has little experience in the technology. But he was smart enough to clear the client interview, thanks to Google chat (Sorry Raghav! Karthik told me so 🙂 Hope you don’t mind). Suba is on her maternity leave. And I am sitting over here trying to enjoy writing this post. So, that’s my situation.
I have indeed tried my best to escape from this situation. The first six months over here was the probation period and the good thing about it was that the notice period was only 1 month (Now it’s thrice). I had tried my luck but thanks to recession, I couldn’t even appear for a single interview. Anyway, the time is changing and I am getting some calls. Few days ago I appeared for XXX interview. The interviewers were beginners in the technology. It was easy satisfying them. HR was offering me a hike which is roughly 17%. She asked me to think over, but I never received a call again. On mailing twice to the consultant I got a reply, “….Your profile would not match the position….”. Last week I appeared for YYY ZZZZ. It was a client interview. The interviewers were experienced but still one of them (who was younger compared to the other two) refuted one of my answers and when I practically verified it later, just for my satisfaction, I confirmed my correctness. In the HR interview I was told that based on the company’s norms my current salary was on the higher side. Ultimately the lady said she will try to get approval for a salary which was 7.5% higher than my current. Now thats insane. Don’t you think so? I asked her whether it means that no one with my experience gets a package (current!) equivalent to mine in that organization. To my surprise she said it was true (HRs are big time frauds). Anyway, I am expecting the offer soon. I am expected to work for 14 hours a day and even on weekends. I got a small issue with this offer. Sometimes when you are desperate for a better future, your past comes and stands infront of you like a monster. I had resigned from my earlier organisation (an IT giant who’s Chairman had accepted to the fraud charges merely two months after I had switched) due to a misunderstanding with the Delivery Manager and another Manager who happened to be immediate next to the Practice Head as per designation. Now the bad news is that the same guy (later one) is also having an offer from YYY ZZZZ and he will be joining there obviously at some very high position. Now that’s called a screwed luck. Let me clarify here that the sourness in our relationship may have started with some kind of misunderstanding but I had put my best efforts to prove it to him that he is not dealing with some ordinary guy (I shall write about those efforts some other time, if you are too eager to know about it). And now I suppose that enthusiasm can cost me dearly. In another interview for PQRS, I was told that they are having a CoE (Center of Excellence). Now that indeed sounds fascinating but it is pretty the same thing which we have over here. On asking he told that they have more than one project running. I couldn’t resist asking the interviewer whether I will get to work on a project once I join the organization. The interviewer fumed up pointing out that they are not wasting their time simply interviewing me. As expected, I couldn’t clear it. Clearing it would not have made a difference anyway :). Anyways, let’s hope for the best. O Yes, one more hope. I have got another interview scheduled tomorrow. Have also send my resume at other organizations with expectations, but they are taking long. Let’s wait and watch. There is hardly anything else that I can do anyway.
For now I plan to talk to my Manager about his plans for me. As I have already said, I am not interested in writing proposals. My TL who is leaving for onsite day after tomorrow had a small chat with him regarding me yesterday. Seems he wants me to implement the proposed system in the proposal over here, just in an effort to prove our capability to ourselves. Though that sounds somewhat interesting to me but when I think about the ‘Immediate Onsite Opportunity’ I was told about, its back to square. An option could be spending few more months over here and then try for another offer. But I am going to spend those months doing what? Let’s see whether the discussion with my PM helps.
Okay… I just got a call. A company based in Noida with Headquarter in US is looking for people of my profile to work for their client in Chennai. The Lady was quiet excited and before having any kind of interview she made it clear that a salary which turns out to be 20% hike is what they are going to pay. Now that sounds cool. But did you smell somthing? The client is YYY ZZZZ. W…T…..F……..?
I need to get out of this. I’m going to look for my Manager. Will have a glass of water before that. The least you can do is to wish me good luck. Please do that. 🙂

<!– Turned Public after nine months –>

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I got the link to Abhinit’s blog through Rajeev’s blog. The title of the post read Have I become a masochist??. The post talks mostly about happiness. His statements like “Maybe I don’t want to be happy and I keep searching for reasons to be sad” are quiet intriguing and I feel that at times even I have felt the same way. His post has made me desperate to prove it to myself that I am not a Sad man. I try recollecting the happier moments of my life.

I am sure there are so many such instances but I am not able to recollect. Yaa, Xth board result was one of such moment. I didn’t get outstanding marks but there was a feel good factor about it. I would better put it down some other time. Next? In College Days …… may be after Engineering Drawing internals in first year. Next?… When I cleared the CDAC entrance interview. I really wonder whether my happiness was always guided by some kind of success. Strangely I didn’t have any feeling when I got placed in a well reputed Software firm while appearing for my first Interview. That was ridiculous. An year ago I was working in a Dumper Workshop (of a well reputed Construction firm) and considering that I was getting a mere Rs. 3400/- monthly, I must have been happy.

But all the moments which I could recollect were short lived and I am not able to feel that happiness now while recollecting them. I applied some extra pressure on my mind to recollect something which can make me feel happy even now. As I recollect there are instances in my life when I was not just happy, I was euphoric. And the good part being it was not a result of any kind of success on my part.

One Such Incidence:
It is actually an Incidence. I was pursuing CDAC and we had this habit of celebrating Birth Days by kicking the b’day boy’s butt. That may be a familiar practice for many but it was different in the sense that we used to celebrate anyone’s birthday any day at our own will. Those were instant celebrations. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) one of such celebrations went out of hand and that resulted in a summon from our Program Manager. I along with three of my friends (including the b’day boy) were fined Rs. 7000/-. Trust me; it was a huge sum of money for me. I didn’t have the guts to ask my parents for. And there was no other way for arranging the same. We got out of the Program Manager’s room and entered our Lab which was just adjacent to it. It appeared that all our batch mates were eagerly waiting to know how we were butchered. There was a murmur in the lab and they were informed that the butt-kicking is going to cost Rs. 7000/- each. The environment was tense. My associates were helplessly pointing fingers at me. They were expressing their sorrow to some-one or the other. There was a weird thing about the situation. There was a winning smile on my face. I couldn’t control my emotions for long. In a few moments I was laughing aloud. My batch mates were totally astonished. I declared in front of them that there was no way I can pay the huge amount. If the management wants to recover it from me, the only option for them was to sell me in some slave market. Maen jeewan or mrityu ke bhay se upar uth chuka tha. Many had understood what I said and even they had a sarcastic smile on their face. My associates in the incident were still bothered. I asked them not to worry, that we will go to our Program Manager after few minutes and apologize to him. We all knew that he was a really nice person.
That day I was laughing like a maniac. I guess I was laughing aloud for more than fifteen minutes and most of the people I noticed had a smile on their face. I thank my Program Manager for the best laugh of my life and for making it a remembrance which can bring a smile to my face anytime.

To Be Continued…

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