I got the link to Abhinit’s blog through Rajeev’s blog. The title of the post read Have I become a masochist??. The post talks mostly about happiness. His statements like “Maybe I don’t want to be happy and I keep searching for reasons to be sad” are quiet intriguing and I feel that at times even I have felt the same way. His post has made me desperate to prove it to myself that I am not a Sad man. I try recollecting the happier moments of my life.
I am sure there are so many such instances but I am not able to recollect. Yaa, Xth board result was one of such moment. I didn’t get outstanding marks but there was a feel good factor about it. I would better put it down some other time. Next? In College Days …… may be after Engineering Drawing internals in first year. Next?… When I cleared the CDAC entrance interview. I really wonder whether my happiness was always guided by some kind of success. Strangely I didn’t have any feeling when I got placed in a well reputed Software firm while appearing for my first Interview. That was ridiculous. An year ago I was working in a Dumper Workshop (of a well reputed Construction firm) and considering that I was getting a mere Rs. 3400/- monthly, I must have been happy.
But all the moments which I could recollect were short lived and I am not able to feel that happiness now while recollecting them. I applied some extra pressure on my mind to recollect something which can make me feel happy even now. As I recollect there are instances in my life when I was not just happy, I was euphoric. And the good part being it was not a result of any kind of success on my part.
One Such Incidence:
It is actually an Incidence. I was pursuing CDAC and we had this habit of celebrating Birth Days by kicking the b’day boy’s butt. That may be a familiar practice for many but it was different in the sense that we used to celebrate anyone’s birthday any day at our own will. Those were instant celebrations. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) one of such celebrations went out of hand and that resulted in a summon from our Program Manager. I along with three of my friends (including the b’day boy) were fined Rs. 7000/-. Trust me; it was a huge sum of money for me. I didn’t have the guts to ask my parents for. And there was no other way for arranging the same. We got out of the Program Manager’s room and entered our Lab which was just adjacent to it. It appeared that all our batch mates were eagerly waiting to know how we were butchered. There was a murmur in the lab and they were informed that the butt-kicking is going to cost Rs. 7000/- each. The environment was tense. My associates were helplessly pointing fingers at me. They were expressing their sorrow to some-one or the other. There was a weird thing about the situation. There was a winning smile on my face. I couldn’t control my emotions for long. In a few moments I was laughing aloud. My batch mates were totally astonished. I declared in front of them that there was no way I can pay the huge amount. If the management wants to recover it from me, the only option for them was to sell me in some slave market. Maen jeewan or mrityu ke bhay se upar uth chuka tha. Many had understood what I said and even they had a sarcastic smile on their face. My associates in the incident were still bothered. I asked them not to worry, that we will go to our Program Manager after few minutes and apologize to him. We all knew that he was a really nice person.
That day I was laughing like a maniac. I guess I was laughing aloud for more than fifteen minutes and most of the people I noticed had a smile on their face. I thank my Program Manager for the best laugh of my life and for making it a remembrance which can bring a smile to my face anytime.
To Be Continued…
